How Progressives Bait Gay People with Fear
No one who truly cares about you would want you to feel hated when you are not.
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“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
As a conservative Canadian lesbian, I get a fair bit of abuse online. Many other gays, trans rights activists, and progressives in general believe very strongly that I owe them my political allegiance. When they discover they don’t have it, their responses can be shockingly vitriolic—such as wishing for the miscarriage of my soon-to-be-born baby. However, I’m not writing to air my sob story. I wouldn’t be as online as I am if this affected me on personal level. What does frustrate me, however, is the way these progressives attempt to pull myself and other wayward gays back into the fold by insisting that it’s actually conservatives and their politicians who hate us and want to strip our rights. Progressive politicians are particularly guilty of using this fearmongering to cling to votes within the gay community.
This is a tactic commonly employed by Canadian progressives, despite the fact that this country legalized same-sex marriage nearly 20 years ago, with no serious effort to roll it back since. In fact, we experienced a decade of federal conservative governance after legalization, during which the issue was laid to rest. Nevertheless, the current federal Liberal Party under Prime Minister Justin Trudeau frequently leverages this issue to attack the leader of the Conservative Party of Canada, Pierre Poilievre. With the next election potentially a grueling year away, and the Conservative Party experiencing a massive swell in the polls, Poilievre will almost certainly be our next Prime Minister. And that’s why the Liberals are trying desperately to paint him as homophobic.
One of the main pieces of evidence for this claim is that Poilievre voted against same-sex marriage as a member of Parliament in 2005—nearly 20 years ago. I like to ask people who bring this up when Barack Obama began supporting same-sex marriage (answer: 2012). But Poilievre, who has since expressed zero interest in revisiting this issue despite being a member of Parliament all this time, recently had to clarify that, “Same sex marriage is legal and it will remain legal when I am Prime Minister, full stop.”
Yet, do you know what the progressives will never tell you about Poilievre? That his father is gay, and that he and his partner were affectionately named in Poilievre’s victory speech when he became party leader. Progressives also don’t like to mention that Poilievre appointed Melissa Lantsman, a lesbian, as party co-deputy leader. If they acknowledge this fact at all, they’ll claim it was done solely for appearances. However, an actual appointment to an actual party position is the antithesis of mere “appearance.”
Another drum the progressives mercilessly beat is that Poilievre was once photographed with a man wearing a shirt that read, “Thank a straight person today for your existence. Straight pride.” They presented this as “proof” of his consistent opposition the rainbow community. Below is just one of several posts that the Liberal Party has sent out about this incident.
It’s absurd to think that Poilievre even noticed the shirt, considering how often politicians are bombarded with requests for photos at public events. And if he did notice it, what then? Should he have run away screaming? Scolded the man? Pushed him away? More likely, he would have simply refused the picture to avoid the bad optics, but I resent that such precaution is expected. This attitude almost makes me want to wear a “straight pride” shirt. Poilievre has since disavowed the photo. I wish he hadn’t felt the need to do it, but I understand why.
As a bit of a humorous aside—my best friend, Lois Cardinal, attended the 2023 Calgary Pride Parade wearing a hoodie and cape featuring a rainbow flag with the trans colors cut out. She managed to snap a photo with Rachel Notley, the leader of the staunchly progressive Alberta New Democratic Party, along with many other caucus members. They even put Lois up front to hold the party banner as their contingent marched in the parade! However, once the party realized Lois’s modified flag, they quickly deleted any social media images featuring her.
Speaking of my home province of Alberta, Premier Danielle Smith, leader of the ruling provincial United Conservative Party, is also frequently smeared as homophobic. These accusations reached a fever pitch after Smith announced a host of new policies tackling gender ideology in medicine, education, and sports earlier this year. I have actively supported these policies and attended discussions with both with the Premier and Minister Tanya Fir. For that, I’ve been routinely criticized as a “bootlicker,” and warned that the party will come for me next. I frequently encounter comments like, “Danielle Smith hates people like you.”
Since progressives value lived experience so much, let me share mine. The notion that these politicians hate gay people (or trans-identified people, for that matter) is patently absurd. Both Minister Fir and Premier Smith, along with their teams, have been incredibly supportive of my recent marriage (to a woman, obviously) and my pregnancy. The level of celebration and support I’ve received has been overwhelming, and none of it was for appearances. I’m referring to personal interactions that I’m keeping to myself as happy memories.
Additionally, they employ gay people on their teams, and I’ve witnessed their respectful interactions with other “LGBT” community members at these meetings. It feels silly to even make these points because there is simply no reason for anyone to believe otherwise based on anything they have said or done. Yet, this party has been banned from Pride events in Alberta. But bless their hearts, I’ve seen them show great concern over the politicization of Pride and express that they would still rather take part in the main parade and festivities than create parallel conservative events. I admit, I’m not as forgiving; I was quite ready to wash my hands of the left wing of our so-called “community.” However, it was the kindness of these supposedly hateful conservative politicians that made me give my stance a second thought.
Regarding Danielle Smith in particular, she made her views quite clear when she appeared on Jordan Peterson’s podcast this past summer. Towards the end, as Peterson discussed the importance of “long-term, child-centered monogamy,” it was Premier Smith who made sure to bring up families like mine, stating:
Gay couples increasingly are wanting to have children and create that nurturing environment. I know the left likes to ignore this, but there is a growing gay conservative movement and gay conservative contingent who share those same values of bonding and monogamy and creating a family environment…. I think that that's one thing that conservatives had a little bit of a difficult time in modernizing: their view of what that nuclear family looks like. But I think the principles are the same. We all need to find a lifemate and we all want to create an environment that’s going to be good for raising children. I think that that's where we’re having some commonality, is in being able to advance that message. I’m hopeful that we're able to talk about it in a way that is really aspirational.
At the last meeting I attended, Premier Smith specifically asked me if I had seen the interview (of course I had!) and if I had heard her comments. She wanted to make it very clear (as if it wasn’t already!) what she thought about families like mine. However, when I initially shared the interview on X, I received several shocked responses from people surprised that a lesbian would support this Premier. After all, didn’t I know that she hates people like me?
You’ll never be able to win ‘em all.
And finally, I want to touch on Donald Trump. I’m no Trump fangirl by any stretch of the imagination, but I would vote for him and support the Republican Party if I were an American. You might think I am insane if you believe the oft-repeated hysterical claims that Trump hates gay people and wants to strip away our rights. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t he already president for four years? Didn’t the same kind of rhetoric surface the first time around, only to amount to… nothing? Trump entered office supporting gay marriage and hosted a gay wedding at Mar-a-Lago earlier this year. Previously, he also hosted the Log Cabin Republicans at the property, where he reportedly said, “We are fighting for the gay community, and we are fighting and fighting hard.”
If someone wants to argue that these words and actions—from Trump and the other politicians I’ve mentioned—are mere façade awaiting a big reveal where they show they’ve actually despised gays all along and are now poised to attack our rights, then knock yourself out, I guess. I’ll simply say the same about progressive politicians. If we presume that everyone is always lying and concealing their true intentions, it becomes impossible to claim that anyone genuinely likes or supports us at all.
Bear in mind that I’m not telling anyone how to vote, nor would I attack anyone individually for their choice. At the end of the day, some people genuinely believe that the politicians I’ve mentioned—or at least the parties they represent—pose a real and significant threat to gay rights, and will vote accordingly. After all, they do receive criticism from social conservatives within their own parties for their gay friendliness. On the flip side, I believe that the left also harbors its own brand of homophobia in the form of gender ideology that encourages gay men and women, especially if they are gender non-conforming, to transition.
Is it beyond the realm of possibility that a right-wing backlash is coming? Certainly not. I discuss this often because I sense a backlash is brewing, fueled by radical ideologies from the left. I am not naïve. Personally, I believe the best way to prevent this backlash is to elect sensible conservative politicians. The reason gay people are under scrutiny at all is because queer and trans activists have pushed things way too far, and we have been force-teamed with them.
If conservative politicians can help us course correct, then we can continue enjoying the fruits of the hard-fought gay rights battle, which aimed to live openly and integrate into society. Remember, politicians are often labeled as anti-gay precisely because they have spoken out against and proposed policies to counter the excesses of the queer and trans movements. Protecting women’s sports, for example, has nothing to do with the rights of same-sex attracted people, yet such attempts are almost always framed as “anti-LGBT.” As a woman and not merely a “queer,” I am grateful for politicians who are beginning to tackle these issues.
Others will disagree with my political opinions and view on these politicians and parties, and that’s fine. They may also have different goals and values that drive their decisions, just as I have numerous reasons for voting conservative beyond the issues I have discussed here.
My goal is simply to encourage gay people to vote without it being driven by fear. Would many still vote for progressive parties and politicians? No doubt. However, more might lean conservative if they entertained the idea that conservatives are not their enemies and that those suggesting otherwise might not have their best interests at heart. If a politician or a political tribe is telling you to vote for them because the other guy wants to oppress and persecute you, consider that they might be trying to use you. And remember, no one who truly cares about you would want you to feel hated when you are not.
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Don't forget, Trump was the first president to ever appoint an openly gay cabinet member, Richard Grenell. Democrats like to tout Pete Buttigieg as having that honor but it is a blatant lie that he was the first.
Many decades ago, there was a study comparing the longevity of gay, straight and lesbian marriages. I think it was during the Seventies or Eighties and was published in Psychology Today. The results showed that female couples had the most long lasting marriages of the three, with gay men having the least. It is also well known within the gay and lesbian subcultures that gay men commonly have non-monogamous relationships whereas lesbian couples commonly commit to monogamy. I of course do not think that women are always faithful to their partners, whether they be male or female. Nevertheless, it makes sense to me why two men would explicitly agree to create non-monogamous relationships and why two women would not.