(When) Should We Cut Ties With Our Trump-Supporting Family Members?

Cutting off well-meaning friends and family is the last thing we need when so many of us already feel lonely and disconnected.

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One of us (Julian) has a friend with whom he absolutely cannot talk about politics. The reason is simple: when politics comes up, this friend turns nasty. When Julian expressed mild criticism of their ideas, this friend resorted to insults and attacks—not just once, but repeatedly over several months. Julian was called “arrogant,” “naive,” too incompetent to perform his job, and far worse.

If Julian were hosting Thanksgiving (or Friendsgiving) this year, this friend would not be invited.

It’s with this spirit that we consider a question many on the left have been grappling with: should we interact with our Trump-supporting friends and family members during the holidays? For people like Yale psychiatrist Amanda Calhoun, the answer is a definitive “no.” As Calhoun advised viewers on MSNBC, cutting ties with his supporters “may be essential for your mental health.” 

For many who strive to build bridges, the answer is a hard “yes.” Family, the reasoning goes, should always trump politics.

Our view is a bit more nuanced. Whether you should invite your conservative uncle to Thanksgiving is not a straightforward decision—it depends on your personal family dynamics.