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Ute Heggen's avatar

I've also been attacked, trolled, defamed and ostracized with specious accusations. Buck Angel, though, used to be very pro-transition and influenced many lesbians like herself. She has not made statements to wrap up the grooming of lesbians she used to engage in, nor has she said she regrets the crass sex act she performed nude on the Howard Stern show.

The fact is, no adult does the "transition" without hurting others. My ex-husband refused to participate in the required therapy for our 9 year old son, who expressed suicidal ideation at school 2 years after his so-called "sex reassignment surgery," when he was trying out various versions of Mama-Neddy our 2 sons were suddenly supposed to say instead of Daddy. This is common in the children of crossdressing fathers who take their fetish out of the bedroom, as is the physical and sexual abuse they subjected the wife to before she got out. In my data on 67 trans widows, over 1/3 of us experienced one or both. About half of us were publicly defamed by ex and his therapists, friends and relatives. Even our own children. A trans widow who has spoken out with her story for 6 years now has suddenly withdrawn from her advocacy for this sisterhood, as her now adult children demanded she stop or she will lose this relationship, despite the fact she raised them without child support from the crossdressing father. Please stop saying "as long as it does not hurt anyone else" without watching Behind the Looking Glass at Lime Soda Films youtube channel, where many of us are also individually profiled. Here's author Christine Benvenuto's profile from my channel, Trans Widow Ute Heggen. Her husband tried to make sure she'd never work again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXGPi3qEV0g&list=PLOFlPPQm71IgFGCRHe5VxMtDlq1qtJQCy&index=28

Please, please stop saying this trope "as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else." Please write about trans widows, link Lime Soda Films or my channel or transwidowsvoices.org.

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Cassandra anonymous's avatar

We all exist in relationship with others. No transition affects only the person claiming the altered status.

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Greg's avatar

This is a perfect example of the cultural corrosiveness of the trans convulsion. Just so sad. And even with the awareness of the influence, money, and engineering of some very duplicitous people (Dentons, Pritzkers, etc.), it remains mystifying to me how such a tiny minority have gained such outsized influence.

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MarkS's avatar

"Trans" is a religious cult. Historically, religious cults can grow explosively when they fill a void in the cultural zeitgeist. In our case, it's the decline of practice and belief in the Abrahamic religions, especially Christianity. "Trans" gives us a new class of sacred people, and anyone can receive this sacrament by declaration, or (most insidiously) by declaring that your child has that high status. There are quite a few PhD theses to be written on all this ...

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Grumpy Dad's avatar

Yep. I'm bewildered by the friendly fire hate directed at Stella. I ran into it on Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Transgenderism. Maia Poet posted there, and was attacked but without specifics. I engaged the attackers asking for specifics, and they refused. Attacking my ability to use Google instead. Then came the pedo claims about people Stella had interviewed. Again, I both searched and asked for examples, evidence. Of course none. Then I was called a pedo.

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TrackerNeil's avatar

The Phil Illy thing was simply absurd. O'Malley handled the situation with grace and good sense, but you'd never know it from the howls of outrage.

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HvC52's avatar

Ignore them all. You are taking a thoughtful and nuanced approach. Buck’s insight matters. You don’t have to be perfect to be correct. Thank you for being brave. Many of the online insults are intended to weaken you and your response to the gender madness.

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TrackerNeil's avatar

This is a great essay, thanks.

I feel as though social movements, whatever views they espouse, are always way, WAY harder on apostates than on infidels. I see this on the right, and I have personally experienced it on the left, where I reside. Being an open enemy is one thing, but to be a betrayer...well, that can never be forgiven. The GC folks see you as one such betrayer, just as the far-left progressives saw me as one.

These days, I am proud to be an apostate, and I see you are too. Apostates for the win!

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Josh Golding's avatar

Great article. Benjamin Ryan has faced a significant and unnecessary backlash from the gender-critical crowd for his use of people’s preferred pronouns.

The inability to hold space for opposing (or simply nuanced) views on this issue (or really, set of issues) undermines the causes of protecting kids from medical transition and keeping men out of women’s spaces. Dehumanizing the “other” never results in real progress.

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Josh Golding's avatar

Ah, I think I see how this is connected to my original comment.

I think the main issue at play in most of these circumstances is consent and safeguarding. The reason children should never be medically transitioned is because of the likelihood of irreversible and harmful changes to their bodies to which they cannot provide informed consent (I am guessing we see this the same way).

The same is true for protected women’s spaces: having males present in these spaces increases the likelihood of bad male actors using access to these spaces to harm women or children, or (in the case of sports) women losing their protected category and fair competition. Again, these are all violations of consent.

It seems to me that for a male autogynephile to harm someone by transitioning, they would need to be intruding on another person’s rights without their consent. By simple virtue of transitioning, I am not seeing any direct harm caused to another. Maybe you can spell that out for me.

The issue of pronouns seems to be yet another separate issue. I think it can depend a lot on context, relationship, etc whether using a person’s preferred pronouns is humanizing/dehumanizing, constructive/destructive. I think it’s a tall order to ALWAYS insist on using sex-based pronouns, regardless of what factors are at play. Though I personally default to either that, or, in some cases, just using a person’s preferred name. Again, the ethical questions at play might be very different in different contexts (i.e. are we talking about a female teen with rapid onset dysphoria, or an autogynephilic male whose dysphoria has been present since a young age and has medically transitioned as an adult, etc).

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Leslie's avatar
1dEdited

Even if an AGP male has no children or wife, he has more than likely hurt his parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings.

No parent consents to a child hating his own body so much that he surgically and chemically alters it beyond recognition. This is the same body that the father has nurtured since birth and the mother has nurtured since conception.

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Josh Golding's avatar

You haven’t provided evidence of how this violates the principle of consent. If a person medically transitions as an adult (let’s use age 25 or older as that is when brains typically are fully developed), regardless of their reasons for doing so, they are not causing harm to someone else in a direct way. It might be a significant loss for this person’s loved ones, something akin to a choice to move across the world and live in a different country (i.e. a fundamental change to the relationship), but doesn’t constitute a direct harm to another person.

I’m just not understanding how you draw a direct between an adult transitioning and harm to another person.

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Leslie's avatar
1dEdited

Parents not only give birth to their children, they nurture them. They feed them nutritious food, get them vaccinated and drive them to school and sports activities for 18 years. They arrange for music lessons and send them to summer camps--all to keep them developing towards a healthy and productive adulthood. They save for college so that their child will have economic prospects once they graduate.

To say that cutting off healthy body parts, particularly those which are involved in reproduction, *wouldn't* hurt a parent is obtuse. Those parents raised that body, and now the adult child is mutilating it. Even though they have a "right" to, it's not going to make the parents' pain go away. It is direct harm to their child, and their child is flesh of their flesh.

All I can say is that it is clear from your remarks that you have no children, and no understanding of what a parent feels for a child, whether they're an adult or not.

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Josh Golding's avatar

Your comments about my personal situation are incorrect. But perhaps more importantly they are unhelpful.

I agree, as a parent this would be painful and heartbreaking. Truly. But this would not be someone doing something AGAINST their parent so much as FOR themselves. This distinction matters.

My own kids are younger, so I don’t know who they will turn out to be. And perhaps when they are nearing adulthood, I will think and feel differently about this. But I think the best I can hope for is that they would be happy, healthy, productive, and maintain a relationship with their parents. If they modify their own bodies in harmful ways I imagine it would be devastating for me. But I still can’t see how that is them harming me. Because if we extend the argument that you are making even further, it would constitute harm if, for example, I really wanted my kids to have kids of their own, but they chose not to. We as parents don’t own our children’s bodies. We just get to be stewards, and then they grow up and get to make their own choices.

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Leslie's avatar

As a parent I would be devastated by one of my children removing a healthy arm or leg as much as I would be devastated by them removing a healthy breast or penis. It's not just the lack of grandchildren I would be harmed by. I would be harmed by my child's willingness to destroy his or her own healthy body in search of what appears to be temporary relief from mental distress. Surgically removing healthy parts of your body is akin to "cutting" although much more severe.

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Cassandra anonymous's avatar

Married fathers are already in women’s and children’s spaces: the family (which is everyone’s space until you make a choice foe porn).

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Josh Golding's avatar

I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make. When I said “women’s spaces” I really meant “women’s-only spaces,” but I assumed that given the context that was clear.

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Cassandra anonymous's avatar

It’s not true that adult male autogynephiles don’t hurt anyone when they “transition” and it doesn’t dehumanize them to state that fact. Perhaps tangential to the point you were making.

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Elke's avatar

Squeaky wheels get the grease. The reality is that most people oppose gender ideology without giving a lot of voice to it. Most of us also oppose ridiculous factionalism and purity tests. Thank you for taking a stand and doing good work.

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Travis Brown's avatar

Thank you.

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Concerned Parent's avatar

"It’s a revealing glimpse into how tribalism and religious-like dogmatism can emerge on any side and stifle open, curious, and skeptical discourse." Very very true words proven on a daily basis

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Betsy Warrior's avatar

Wow, so stupid. We are cutting ourselves off by smothering the voices of others who agree with us on the subject of gender colonization. There is no one that I agree with on every nuance on the political spectrum, but I know that there is no way of moving forward on any issue without making alliances on the issues we agree on. To demand others agree with you on every single issue, or every nuance of an issue is childish, self-aggrandizing, and an attempt at coercive control. This is hardly different from the trans terrorists who want to enforce mind-control by forcing us (on penalty of discrediting, censure, slander, and ostracism) to speak lies that will destroy the lives of others. So self-defeating, childish and downright stupid is this mode of criticism it could be as effective embedded agents provocateurs from the trans terrorists cult trying to destroy us from within.

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for the kids's avatar

I am sorry this happened to you. I disagree with the people who criticized you and am grateful for your work!

I think some people assume that if you agree with them on one thing you agree with them in others and then misunderstandings arise. There are lots of issues to address. We should discuss them respectfully with each other.

We don't need a circular firing squad.

We are surely all going to disagree on some things but if we agree about the harm being done we should work together on trying to stop that and to help those who were harmed!

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Travis Brown's avatar

Definitely.

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GBM's avatar

Thank you, Travis. I am so sorry that you have become a victim of certain ideologues. One of the qualities that I love and respect about Substack is that it is generally a forum for the free exchange of ideas. As for me, I am a conservative Christian retired physician but I enjoy reading and listening to the perspectives of others who have very different beliefs than I. Keep up the good work. I will support you. May heterodoxy live forever!

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Travis Brown's avatar

Thanks!

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Chela's avatar

This is an excellent documentary, which I will certainly share and recommend. Thank you.

A few comments on your essay, especially your comment "that adults in a free society should be able to live as they choose, so long as their rights don’t infringe on others":

1) Perhaps it depends on your definition of a free society, but I don't consider that the young adults taught from childhood in (taxpayer-funded) schools that all their problems, discomfort, flaws, awkwardness, even undiagnosed neurological differences (sometimes in defiance of or simply covertly from their parents) could be corrected with "gender-affirming" medicalization are truly making a free choice, even if they are now legal adults, especially with persistently flawed medical information;

2) I agree with other commenters, unless these transitioners are living in a cave, their "rights" WILL infringe on others;

3) You're right. You were naive to expect broad agreement from others who generally oppose pediatric transition and support women's rights! I, for example, disagree with much the current administration is doing, but applaud the recent HHS review of pediatric gender medicine. I deplore pornography and refuse to downplay the actual harm it has done to women, perhaps specifically to the women who object to your including Buck Angel in your project, but I still think Buck's clips enhanced your film. Eyes on the prize.

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u.n. owen's avatar

As much as the internet seems made for idiots & porn, gender is its own frightening rabbit hole, 1 reason I default to geneticist Baron Robert Winston's years old BBC statement that we unequivocally cannot change sex (much further evidence provided by RTA misogynism, #terfisaslur, canceled Exulansic & Glinner, Heretic Andrew Gold's detransitioner interviews, Rowling's statement making gender "ideology" more harmful that last century's lobotomies & false recovered memory syndrome & on & on).

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TriTorch's avatar

This may interest you guys, a string of madness from the top down imposed transgender insanity (no small amount of work went into this montage):

Exclusive The LBGTQ / 2SLGBTQQIPAA Pedophile Minor Attracted Person's WEF Descent Into Hell On Earth: https://old.bitchute.com/video/pB2WAeELDVtc [22mins]

Trans ideology strips identity from children just when they are discovering who they are. This is because, like morality, they’re cutting all moorings and anchors of self, leaving the next generation bereft of any point of reference or framing for their nature and purpose. This is yet another seismic shift in their development which accommodates transforming them into anything ghastly the powers that shouldn’t be desire.

But more importantly to the parasite predators at the top pushing this vile sickness down upon us: The primary objective of this orchestrated trans movement is to get rid of and delegitimize age-of-consent laws by pretending little kids are actually “little adults”, mature enough to decide anything for themselves, so that when they are raped by actual adults its “consensual”. In the horrific linked which in very deep detail shows just how advanced the pedophile war on the next generation is, an ACLU lawyer argues that children as young as two know whether they are trans or not, and that castrating them is their choice, meanwhile the WHO is pushing masturbation from birth into the global school curriculum: https://tritorch.substack.com/p/demons-disguised-as-guardians-philanthropic

Pedophilia is rising and they stripped civics out of school curriculums specifically to suppress citizen action from stepping in and ending vile madness just like this: Podesta talks creating compliant citizenry by doing so: https://tritorch.com/degradation/podestaDropCivics.png [image]

Oh and:

Transgender Movement Was Engineered, Obama Coated School Lunches With Atrazine to Feminize Males: https://old.bitchute.com/video/WOynKPQwQcCQ [2mins]

So the children are brainwashed from the bottom up, poisoned with chemical hormones from the top down... The evil on display here breaks the scale.

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carol dansereau's avatar

I oppose the obnoxious mistreatments you've received. And obviously people evolve over time and shouldn't be judged forever on what they said during their first forays into these issues. I also staunchly defend the free speech rights of all, including those who profess opinions I find terrible.

But don't let the reasonable points made about the harm posed by Buck Angel and by true-trans-advocates escape you. The true-trans narrative embraces the core irrationality of gender ideology, thereby facilitating the continued imposition of this ideology. The production of pornography does huge harm in multiple ways, and Buck did indeed play a role in causing lots of confused and vulnerable girls to go down the mutilation path. The tactics used by some to raise these concerns may be problematic, but the concerns themselves are valid, and must be understood...especially if we are to ever emerge from the gender identity nightmare.

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carol dansereau's avatar

Sorry this got posted three times!

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Lisa's avatar

Well, it was an important enough comment to be repeated!

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EyesOpen's avatar

Me too: "This topic has created such a toxic and polarized ecosystem that all I can hope is that my small contribution offers something meaningful—whether it’s for trans-identifying youth, families caught in the crossfire, or sincere believers in gender ideology who may be prompted to think more critically about their views. And then I hope to move on."

Thank you Travis. I relate all too well to your experience with my writing. And I was there in the room and watched with my own eyes how you were attacked. I'm sorry that happened to you. I appreciate your work.

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