This is great and I think your latest photos are really cute.
FWIW when I was about 10 (way back when over 5 decades ago), I remember feeling absolute *relief* that I was female, because I could wear purple if I wanted to and my brothers couldn't, really. Not that they wanted to; I did.
I think the most important lesson in the world is that nobody has to conform their character to a stereotype. The important qualities we admire, of strength and courage, of compassion and care, of kindness and protection for the weak, belong to everybody. As a female I despise the catty manipulative stereotypes that some people think mean "feminine." To blazes with them.
You write: "Whether born as female or male, we have the burden and honor of accepting life and making the most of our unique gifts." 100%. This is a spiritual journey, and I hope that takes you forward.
I love your creative funky aesthetic. I was a lot like you when I was a kid - I was a “weird girl”, had a lot of issues with anxiety and depression, liked to wear strange clothes, wasn’t “conventionally pretty” like the tan, blonde, fashionable popular girls, had a strange obsession with military history, didn’t like uncomfortable/dumb fashions, and hung out with all the weirdos. It is likely that I am on the spectrum, as two of my three kids are.
Fortunately, back then in 70s and 80s, this was considered just being a weird girl and while my male friends used to joke that I was an “honorary dude”, it would have never occurred to me or anyone else that I should “transition”. I was lucky in that my mom was an old-school feminist who celebrated the fact that girls (and boys!) no longer had to conform to the rigid stereotypes that she had to when she was growing up. She never tried to force me to dress or act more “feminine”. I really think all this gender stuff is extremely regressive.
I am 100% heterosexual, have been married to a man for 30 years and have three kids. However, I used to always get mistaken for a lesbian, I guess because I like tattoos and piercings and masculine-ish clothes. It does make me think that if I was a teen today, I’d probably feel pressured to be trans or non-binary or something because of my love of flannel shirts and short hair.
A few of my young adult daughters’ friends have gone through a trans or non-binary stage (fortunately, none have done anything irreversible...yet) and all of them remind me so much of myself when I was a kid. Just weird girls who need to grow into themselves and realize they don’t have to be “girly” to be a girl.
What a tremendous story. So interesting. Self actualization and self-love are harder than ever in our AI generated society with confusing for profit medical practices. I love the work you’re doing- you are a generous gift to the world.
She writes very well. I am concerned, however, by how “performative” her entire journey seems to be. Maybe this is typical for the Instagram generation??? Are we raising our children to lack depth of understanding and meaning? How should we fight this going forward?
Granted, as a person on the spectrum and with other mental health issues (abuse), her emotional maturity would have been slower to develop, but why was that not taken into account in her pre-transition evaluation? The really useful thing about her account is how it demonstrates the wisdom the “old” way of handling gender dysforia (psychological evaluation over a period of time while the person “tries out” living publicly as the opposite gender). It also shows how quickly the “authorities” nowadays answer every question about discomfort with puberty with “gender”.
Incredibly sad about how much we’re adding to the struggles of those who need more help.
It's tragic that women's natural life transitions, which are often fraught and difficult, are being medicalized.Whether it's entering puberty, motherhood, menopause, or old age, we're told that a drug or surgery or hormones or diet or make-up or hair dye will make us a better woman, a more attractive woman, a more normal woman.
We need to learn to manage and ease these transitions in ways that respects our bodies and our inner selves, otherwise girls will keep thinking it's easier to transition into being male than to go through the transition of becoming a woman.
You are a beautiful young and funky woman with Kate Winslet eyes. Thank you for writing about your journey to self-acceptance. A thought struck me as I read that perhaps creative children are a primary target of the gender world. Those who are creative see meaning in symbols, colors and style. They can see things I, as a very uncreative woman, cannot see. Clothes never had any meaning for me outside of being there to cover my body and keep me comfortable. I understood societal norms and mostly complied with those norms, but always dressed for comfort first, appearance somewhere dead last. I'm 62 and haven't changed, although I will, for my husband's sake, take time on appearance if going out together. What you've been through will make you a better mother than many, and you will know how to love and protect your children.
Glad to hear your story has a happy ending, and very much appreciate you doing the super important work of telling it to the world. It's not surprising you finally 'settled' into your true self at age 25, since that's when the brain has fully developed. Welcome back (to womanhood)!
I love how you were able to map out your whole journey, and, while I'm sure it was way more complex and nuanced than even your very detailed account can describe, you've given enough information for anyone to see the reality. The current societal messaging and omnipresence of "gender" and medical "solutions" to the "problem" of growing up and into ourselves is destructive and only makes things worse. Luckily, you have found your way out of that whole mess relatively whole and unscathed (not to diminish in any way the seriousness of losing body parts and suffering whatever the results may be of years of synthetic testosterone). As a parent of a daughter going through similar struggles, I'm so happy to hear a story with a hopeful message!
Fascinating. I am at least a decade older, and I wonder if the hyper-sexualization of girls in the late ought's drove this narrowing of definitions. Looking back at David Bowie, Prince, Annie Lenox, Sinead O'Connor, the omnipresence of grunge androgyny, and the kilts and skirts of Korn, Jack White, and Marilyn Manson in the late 90s/early 2000s, people were allowed to express more gender non-conformance.
Have our interpretations of gender today become so narrow and performative? How can society reset so aesthetic preferences are just that-preferences of choice and design and not functions of identity?
Fashion and style yep it’s all been done before and it’s happily sexy and cool and gorgeous or hideous any which way. I’m woman wife mom always have preferred androgynous outfitting of self ALSO wondered for years what it indicated. Guess where a key presented itself: personality typing. I’m ENTJ almost always profiled as male/masculine as so rare in women. Traits also on par w historical/social male/masculine markers. Was my light bulb flash aha moment
Omg are you me? I'm just luckier to have been born earlier than you. In the 90's I wasn't required to cut off my tits to be the "straight girl who is the queerest of them all". I'm so sorry that we women and foremothers have failed you so badly. This is a genocide against the truest heterodox.
This story will become all too common in the years ahead. The current fad of boys and girls transitioning is being taken less seriously by the medical profession and regarded as just another elective procedure like a facelift. Doctors and surgeons well know that emotional and physical maturity should play a vital role, but the money is too tempting apparently. I was pleased to hear England’s facility specializing in the practice closed its doors recently and I hope the trend continues here. There is mounting evidence that transitioning is not the cure all for what these vulnerable young people are experiencing and could likely make things worse. It’s unfortunate that stories like this author’s which serve to warn others of the potential consequences of transitioning are completely ignored or buried by mainstream media who proudly wave the rainbow colors at every opportunity.
Wow! You are AWESOME!!! I’m 70 and recognize all of the things you went through (minus the double mastectomy.) I’m so glad that you and women in your age group have evolved at warp speed compared to earlier generations. We really need your deep and tested wisdom is this world. May you be surrounded by flocks of nature spirits and angels and benign wise beings from the future. Onward!
Laura, I'm so glad you're speaking out. Your powerful message will help thousands of troubled teenage girls (and boys).
This is great and I think your latest photos are really cute.
FWIW when I was about 10 (way back when over 5 decades ago), I remember feeling absolute *relief* that I was female, because I could wear purple if I wanted to and my brothers couldn't, really. Not that they wanted to; I did.
I think the most important lesson in the world is that nobody has to conform their character to a stereotype. The important qualities we admire, of strength and courage, of compassion and care, of kindness and protection for the weak, belong to everybody. As a female I despise the catty manipulative stereotypes that some people think mean "feminine." To blazes with them.
You write: "Whether born as female or male, we have the burden and honor of accepting life and making the most of our unique gifts." 100%. This is a spiritual journey, and I hope that takes you forward.
Peace.
I love your creative funky aesthetic. I was a lot like you when I was a kid - I was a “weird girl”, had a lot of issues with anxiety and depression, liked to wear strange clothes, wasn’t “conventionally pretty” like the tan, blonde, fashionable popular girls, had a strange obsession with military history, didn’t like uncomfortable/dumb fashions, and hung out with all the weirdos. It is likely that I am on the spectrum, as two of my three kids are.
Fortunately, back then in 70s and 80s, this was considered just being a weird girl and while my male friends used to joke that I was an “honorary dude”, it would have never occurred to me or anyone else that I should “transition”. I was lucky in that my mom was an old-school feminist who celebrated the fact that girls (and boys!) no longer had to conform to the rigid stereotypes that she had to when she was growing up. She never tried to force me to dress or act more “feminine”. I really think all this gender stuff is extremely regressive.
I am 100% heterosexual, have been married to a man for 30 years and have three kids. However, I used to always get mistaken for a lesbian, I guess because I like tattoos and piercings and masculine-ish clothes. It does make me think that if I was a teen today, I’d probably feel pressured to be trans or non-binary or something because of my love of flannel shirts and short hair.
A few of my young adult daughters’ friends have gone through a trans or non-binary stage (fortunately, none have done anything irreversible...yet) and all of them remind me so much of myself when I was a kid. Just weird girls who need to grow into themselves and realize they don’t have to be “girly” to be a girl.
What a tremendous story. So interesting. Self actualization and self-love are harder than ever in our AI generated society with confusing for profit medical practices. I love the work you’re doing- you are a generous gift to the world.
You’re a rock star 🌟. I hope you’re celebrating your unique path to self discovery and wish you all the success in life moving forward. 🦋
Just.. Wow! Free to Be You and Me. Magical story.
She writes very well. I am concerned, however, by how “performative” her entire journey seems to be. Maybe this is typical for the Instagram generation??? Are we raising our children to lack depth of understanding and meaning? How should we fight this going forward?
Granted, as a person on the spectrum and with other mental health issues (abuse), her emotional maturity would have been slower to develop, but why was that not taken into account in her pre-transition evaluation? The really useful thing about her account is how it demonstrates the wisdom the “old” way of handling gender dysforia (psychological evaluation over a period of time while the person “tries out” living publicly as the opposite gender). It also shows how quickly the “authorities” nowadays answer every question about discomfort with puberty with “gender”.
Incredibly sad about how much we’re adding to the struggles of those who need more help.
It's tragic that women's natural life transitions, which are often fraught and difficult, are being medicalized.Whether it's entering puberty, motherhood, menopause, or old age, we're told that a drug or surgery or hormones or diet or make-up or hair dye will make us a better woman, a more attractive woman, a more normal woman.
We need to learn to manage and ease these transitions in ways that respects our bodies and our inner selves, otherwise girls will keep thinking it's easier to transition into being male than to go through the transition of becoming a woman.
You are a beautiful young and funky woman with Kate Winslet eyes. Thank you for writing about your journey to self-acceptance. A thought struck me as I read that perhaps creative children are a primary target of the gender world. Those who are creative see meaning in symbols, colors and style. They can see things I, as a very uncreative woman, cannot see. Clothes never had any meaning for me outside of being there to cover my body and keep me comfortable. I understood societal norms and mostly complied with those norms, but always dressed for comfort first, appearance somewhere dead last. I'm 62 and haven't changed, although I will, for my husband's sake, take time on appearance if going out together. What you've been through will make you a better mother than many, and you will know how to love and protect your children.
Glad to hear your story has a happy ending, and very much appreciate you doing the super important work of telling it to the world. It's not surprising you finally 'settled' into your true self at age 25, since that's when the brain has fully developed. Welcome back (to womanhood)!
I love how you were able to map out your whole journey, and, while I'm sure it was way more complex and nuanced than even your very detailed account can describe, you've given enough information for anyone to see the reality. The current societal messaging and omnipresence of "gender" and medical "solutions" to the "problem" of growing up and into ourselves is destructive and only makes things worse. Luckily, you have found your way out of that whole mess relatively whole and unscathed (not to diminish in any way the seriousness of losing body parts and suffering whatever the results may be of years of synthetic testosterone). As a parent of a daughter going through similar struggles, I'm so happy to hear a story with a hopeful message!
Fascinating. I am at least a decade older, and I wonder if the hyper-sexualization of girls in the late ought's drove this narrowing of definitions. Looking back at David Bowie, Prince, Annie Lenox, Sinead O'Connor, the omnipresence of grunge androgyny, and the kilts and skirts of Korn, Jack White, and Marilyn Manson in the late 90s/early 2000s, people were allowed to express more gender non-conformance.
Have our interpretations of gender today become so narrow and performative? How can society reset so aesthetic preferences are just that-preferences of choice and design and not functions of identity?
Fashion and style yep it’s all been done before and it’s happily sexy and cool and gorgeous or hideous any which way. I’m woman wife mom always have preferred androgynous outfitting of self ALSO wondered for years what it indicated. Guess where a key presented itself: personality typing. I’m ENTJ almost always profiled as male/masculine as so rare in women. Traits also on par w historical/social male/masculine markers. Was my light bulb flash aha moment
Made total sense
Omg are you me? I'm just luckier to have been born earlier than you. In the 90's I wasn't required to cut off my tits to be the "straight girl who is the queerest of them all". I'm so sorry that we women and foremothers have failed you so badly. This is a genocide against the truest heterodox.
This story will become all too common in the years ahead. The current fad of boys and girls transitioning is being taken less seriously by the medical profession and regarded as just another elective procedure like a facelift. Doctors and surgeons well know that emotional and physical maturity should play a vital role, but the money is too tempting apparently. I was pleased to hear England’s facility specializing in the practice closed its doors recently and I hope the trend continues here. There is mounting evidence that transitioning is not the cure all for what these vulnerable young people are experiencing and could likely make things worse. It’s unfortunate that stories like this author’s which serve to warn others of the potential consequences of transitioning are completely ignored or buried by mainstream media who proudly wave the rainbow colors at every opportunity.
Wow! You are AWESOME!!! I’m 70 and recognize all of the things you went through (minus the double mastectomy.) I’m so glad that you and women in your age group have evolved at warp speed compared to earlier generations. We really need your deep and tested wisdom is this world. May you be surrounded by flocks of nature spirits and angels and benign wise beings from the future. Onward!