This subject reminds me a bit of the arguments against giving money to panhandlers. Many of them are grifters. Many are mentally ill or substance addicts or both. And some - a few - are just once-productive people way down on their luck, and hoping to return to a dignified life. There are people who never give, because it encourages stasis, some who always give, because "be kind" and some who give if the panhandler has a dog (blackmail), and some who give on a cold day but not a warm one, and so forth. There's no perfect solution but the one point I hold on to is that if it is a private transaction, being kind in the same way we tell white lies ("Do I look fat in these jeans?"), it is a whole different ball game from a public transaction, because it is not consequential in any significant way. Public dissenting consistency is where there are gains to be made, and where our energies should be directed.
I’m with Kara Dansky. No one has the right to call oneself a woman, “she,” or “her,” or “herself,” unless that person is biologically female. Women have worked too hard, and suffered through too many monthly periods, to have their identity and privacy stolen from them.
I find this entire discussion unbearable because it reminds me how privileged we are in the west to even be having this conversation. As we speak, little girls bodies are being repeatedly raped by men who think they're entitled to shove their penis into her tiny little vagina because they've paid a couple of dollars to her pimp/torturer/slave owner.
The fact that we spend so much time, energy and resources accommodating fetishists and freaks leaves me quaking with righteous rage. Meanwhile, that little girl endures unfathomable suffering because we have abandoned her. As this patriarchal culture continues to centre men's fetishes, and feeds its obsession with controlling women's bodies, we're collectively losing our minds. Now these men have the ultimate power to redefine reality. It's unspeakable in its sociopathy.
The saddest thing of all is that women's socialization as nurturers has been weaponized against us. Our desire to 'be kind' has effectively decapitated the women's liberation movement. Andrea Dworkin would be absolutely stunned by what women are agreeing to in trans ideology.
I despair for my daughter and my 16 year old grandaughter.
Dawn Ennis, also trans, brings up the biblical Golden Rule, “Treat others how you would want to be treated.” <-- Well, if that’s the case, I shouldn’t use a “preferred pronoun” at all because it promotes a lie and this is not how I wish to be treated.
Most of the adult men who want us to believe that they are women are heterosexual with the sexual fetish of autogynephilia. They get sexual arousal when people “validate” their insistence that they are women. So to be polite, we are supposed to join in playing along with their sexual fetish?! Why? Why do we have to be involved in their sexual fetish?
Homo sapiens are a dimorphic species and everyone of us is born either male or female and our conscious selves can exist only within our physical sexed bodies until we die. Cosmetic surgeries and wrong sex hormones cannot actually change the biological sex each individual has been born as.
Nobody can change sex and there are no convincing arguments that there is any benefit for the law and all of society to be compelled to pretend that it is possible. Not only should trans genderism be dismissed as a fantasy but there are many more convincing arguments why the premise harms the rights, safety and dignity of a very large proportion of society and should be rejected on that basis.
Endorsing the use of preferred pronouns harms more people than it benefits. So my strategy is stick to reality and let the individuals who are confused take responsibility for getting appropriate therapy.
This was a pleasure to read and echoes my own positions very closely. It was interesting reading about the thoughts of someone else doing precisely what I was doing as I read the initial essays.
So if a guy looks really feminine, he gets a “she”, but if his makeup/hair etc. leave something to be desired, then it’s “he”. That approach is just acceptance of the trans ideology. Interestingly, you don’t find trans-identified males trying to look like Angela Merkel, for example (or Nicola Sturgeon 🤣)
No. Sorry. I did not hit the heart button for this article.
Pronouns are the gateway drug to "trans"madness. And if this hurts the tender feelings of the mythological creature, the so-called "true trans," let them book an appointment with a psychiatrist. A non-affirming psychiatrist.
I will not participate in the pronoun stupidity. I don't care who is offended. Luckily, I am retired so no one can coerce me into lying with my speech.
No one owns the language. So, no one can unilaterally redefine the "plural pronoun they" to refer to a single person. Nor can a woman force me to use "he" in referring to her.
It is not "kind" to use a person's "preferred pronouns." Engaging in that delusion only perpetuates and spreads a contagious psychiatric disorder. Children are often the victims of this contagion and it inflicts psychological and physical suffering on them. Causing that suffering is cruelty, not kindness. The rights of society and its most vulnerable people are more important than the wounded feelings of a narcissist. I will use the pronouns that are consistent with observable reality, which in some instances may include calling a man "she" and a woman "he" but I will not be compelled to use "preferred pronouns" by an unreasonable request from a narcissist.
I'll just be blunt. I am deadset opposed to trans ideology and refuse to affirm it in any way. My previous 2 jobs had very woke leadership and they pushed the pronoun crap to the point of starting meetings with everyone including their pronouns in their introductions and emails. I never did it and I sleep like a baby knowing I didn't compromise my values. I dared them to come after me for it and nobody did. I'm not lying to myself or anyone else to score ideological points or protect some weirdo's feelings. All "transwomen" are "he" to me and vice versa.
So often I will read an essay on this topic, where I agree with most of it. This is the first, where I agree with all of it, for exactly the same reasons.
Thank you for writing the essay I would have written if I had a way with words.
Well, maybe if asked, Buechner would happily say he is a biological man. How do I know? All I can say is that if I did not know he was trans, I would say I am looking at a woman. The presentation is accurate and not at all exaggerated. I won't rehearse my reasons for referring to Buechner as "she" but I am at peace with that decision.
This subject reminds me a bit of the arguments against giving money to panhandlers. Many of them are grifters. Many are mentally ill or substance addicts or both. And some - a few - are just once-productive people way down on their luck, and hoping to return to a dignified life. There are people who never give, because it encourages stasis, some who always give, because "be kind" and some who give if the panhandler has a dog (blackmail), and some who give on a cold day but not a warm one, and so forth. There's no perfect solution but the one point I hold on to is that if it is a private transaction, being kind in the same way we tell white lies ("Do I look fat in these jeans?"), it is a whole different ball game from a public transaction, because it is not consequential in any significant way. Public dissenting consistency is where there are gains to be made, and where our energies should be directed.
I’m with Kara Dansky. No one has the right to call oneself a woman, “she,” or “her,” or “herself,” unless that person is biologically female. Women have worked too hard, and suffered through too many monthly periods, to have their identity and privacy stolen from them.
There is no kindness without truth.
I find this entire discussion unbearable because it reminds me how privileged we are in the west to even be having this conversation. As we speak, little girls bodies are being repeatedly raped by men who think they're entitled to shove their penis into her tiny little vagina because they've paid a couple of dollars to her pimp/torturer/slave owner.
The fact that we spend so much time, energy and resources accommodating fetishists and freaks leaves me quaking with righteous rage. Meanwhile, that little girl endures unfathomable suffering because we have abandoned her. As this patriarchal culture continues to centre men's fetishes, and feeds its obsession with controlling women's bodies, we're collectively losing our minds. Now these men have the ultimate power to redefine reality. It's unspeakable in its sociopathy.
The saddest thing of all is that women's socialization as nurturers has been weaponized against us. Our desire to 'be kind' has effectively decapitated the women's liberation movement. Andrea Dworkin would be absolutely stunned by what women are agreeing to in trans ideology.
I despair for my daughter and my 16 year old grandaughter.
Dawn Ennis, also trans, brings up the biblical Golden Rule, “Treat others how you would want to be treated.” <-- Well, if that’s the case, I shouldn’t use a “preferred pronoun” at all because it promotes a lie and this is not how I wish to be treated.
Most of the adult men who want us to believe that they are women are heterosexual with the sexual fetish of autogynephilia. They get sexual arousal when people “validate” their insistence that they are women. So to be polite, we are supposed to join in playing along with their sexual fetish?! Why? Why do we have to be involved in their sexual fetish?
Homo sapiens are a dimorphic species and everyone of us is born either male or female and our conscious selves can exist only within our physical sexed bodies until we die. Cosmetic surgeries and wrong sex hormones cannot actually change the biological sex each individual has been born as.
Nobody can change sex and there are no convincing arguments that there is any benefit for the law and all of society to be compelled to pretend that it is possible. Not only should trans genderism be dismissed as a fantasy but there are many more convincing arguments why the premise harms the rights, safety and dignity of a very large proportion of society and should be rejected on that basis.
Endorsing the use of preferred pronouns harms more people than it benefits. So my strategy is stick to reality and let the individuals who are confused take responsibility for getting appropriate therapy.
My goodness you have a gift with words, Barbara.
This was a pleasure to read and echoes my own positions very closely. It was interesting reading about the thoughts of someone else doing precisely what I was doing as I read the initial essays.
Imposing a false reality onto others by making them participate in this falsehood, and in threatening women's privacy and safety, is not being "kind."
So if a guy looks really feminine, he gets a “she”, but if his makeup/hair etc. leave something to be desired, then it’s “he”. That approach is just acceptance of the trans ideology. Interestingly, you don’t find trans-identified males trying to look like Angela Merkel, for example (or Nicola Sturgeon 🤣)
I disagree with the friendship point, a friend should be honest more than dishonestly kind.
No. Sorry. I did not hit the heart button for this article.
Pronouns are the gateway drug to "trans"madness. And if this hurts the tender feelings of the mythological creature, the so-called "true trans," let them book an appointment with a psychiatrist. A non-affirming psychiatrist.
Well-written.
I will not participate in the pronoun stupidity. I don't care who is offended. Luckily, I am retired so no one can coerce me into lying with my speech.
No one owns the language. So, no one can unilaterally redefine the "plural pronoun they" to refer to a single person. Nor can a woman force me to use "he" in referring to her.
It is not "kind" to use a person's "preferred pronouns." Engaging in that delusion only perpetuates and spreads a contagious psychiatric disorder. Children are often the victims of this contagion and it inflicts psychological and physical suffering on them. Causing that suffering is cruelty, not kindness. The rights of society and its most vulnerable people are more important than the wounded feelings of a narcissist. I will use the pronouns that are consistent with observable reality, which in some instances may include calling a man "she" and a woman "he" but I will not be compelled to use "preferred pronouns" by an unreasonable request from a narcissist.
I'll just be blunt. I am deadset opposed to trans ideology and refuse to affirm it in any way. My previous 2 jobs had very woke leadership and they pushed the pronoun crap to the point of starting meetings with everyone including their pronouns in their introductions and emails. I never did it and I sleep like a baby knowing I didn't compromise my values. I dared them to come after me for it and nobody did. I'm not lying to myself or anyone else to score ideological points or protect some weirdo's feelings. All "transwomen" are "he" to me and vice versa.
So often I will read an essay on this topic, where I agree with most of it. This is the first, where I agree with all of it, for exactly the same reasons.
Thank you for writing the essay I would have written if I had a way with words.
Well, maybe if asked, Buechner would happily say he is a biological man. How do I know? All I can say is that if I did not know he was trans, I would say I am looking at a woman. The presentation is accurate and not at all exaggerated. I won't rehearse my reasons for referring to Buechner as "she" but I am at peace with that decision.