When less than one out of a million men tried to pass themselves off as "women," men like "Renee" Richards and "Jan" Morris, the "transsexual"/"transgender" scam posed no real threat to women, children, or the whole of society. But today, when tens of thousands of teenage daughters demand double mastectomies, when intact male sex offenders rape their female cell mates, when little boys and girls are brainwashed into believing they can change their sex, the "transgender movement" threatens everyone.
"Debbie" Hayton has a problem with the Pride Parade. Fine. But because Mr. Hayton wears womanface in public, calls himself "Debbie," and tries to pass himself off as some type of "woman," he is a major part of the "transgender" scam whether he acknowledges it or not. Like it or not, there is no such thing as "transgender." There is no such thing as "transsexual." We are the sex we were conceived as. That says it all.
Mr. Hayton is a man. Not just a biological man. But a man in every sense of the word. He is no more entitled to pass himself off as a woman, any type of woman, not even a "transsexual woman," than I can munch on a Milk-Bone biscuit, douse myself with Frontline," and register at the American Kennel Club.
If it's true, as some say below, that the author is a biological male and still a heterosexual, then this article is brilliant satire (though satire isn’t what I'm paying for here). And further, if the author is a heterosexual, biological male, and the piece isn't brilliant satire, then it's... what? Pathetic nonsense? It's kind of like Rachel Dolezal, apparently a caucasian, becoming a leader in the NAACP, only instead of being found out and pilloried, let's say instead she became disenchanted with the direction of the NAACP and pilloried them? Talk about the pot calling the kettle... wait, maybe the Wedgewood Porcelain calling the...? I give up. I identify as a chef with a headache whose tired of hearing the cupboard inhabitants holler at each other. Where is my parade?
Until Hayton detransitions and stops using the T word to describe himself, he has zero credibility. All he's doing is safeguarding the old definition against the new definition. There is no evidence foundation in his writing.
This is a great essay and very aligned with the thesis of one I wrote on Religion as a Psychology. The author and I pretty well align on that concept and it's true. Everyone is religious, we just have to realize what we are doing with ours!
This is a thoughtful essay about important issues. If we have a purity test to determine who is allowed to speak out on these issues, then we are no better than the Pride purveyors or the pronoun police, and we will never defeat them. The only thing accomplished by ad hominem attacks and vitriol will be the silencing of influential people who could have helped to make the case against gender mythology.
As the ex-wife of a man who identified publicly as female in his mid-thirties, and says he's the mother of our 2 sons, I have to comment on the God talk. I don't get it. I don't see the place for it.
It is notable that God is "he" in this essay, causing me to conclude traditional Christianity, regarding the 'sexed" existence of God, in the mind of the author. As a Jew, (converted with Masorti rabbis in 1987) I believe the writing regarding "God's wrath" in the Pentateuch, in context of its antiquity, is about humans not knowing geology, seeking to understand floods, droughts, earthquakes and other traumatizing phenomena; why so many innocent humans die in them?
Using God in discussions of transsexuality, cross-dressing, cross-sex ideation and the like, is not part of my spirituality--and I consider myself to be a woman of faith. The "sexed soul" mantra hides between the lines here, in my reading of this unusual essay. This brand of mysticism has long been cultivated by the "sexologist" diagnosticians. It is not a useful schema, in a discussion of how to stop the harms gender ideology brings to a new generation in crisis. I do not see God discussions as useful here.
My ex-husband's fluctuations were weekly, daily, hourly, before his PhD psychologist decided I, his wife, "caused" him to "decide to live full-time as female" (direct quotes from 1996 sworn affidavit submitted in custody case) as a result of my choice not to stay in the marriage. Based on his own narrative of when he felt "transsexual" (his word, back then) and when he didn't (because sometimes he didn't, he said), I do not regard the underpinnings of this identity to be stable.
The PhD "sexologist" became a female "God," who meted out punishment of me through alienation of affection and propagandistic claims regarding our children's predicted "non-reactions." No. Our then 9 year old son said he wanted to kill himself and named three ways. The "sexologist" was completely wrong in saying our children would not be affected emotionally, but no one in this field follows up the family, finds out how the trans widow manages or whether someone in that unit experiences trauma. The feelings of the transsexual always weigh more than the rest of us. I will leave it to readers here to spend their own time looking up this author and his wife's public statements regarding her experiences during her husband's "transition." My heart goes out to her every time I see her husband publishing another essay, the constant self-referential habit, the everlasting claim to be "one of the good ones." My ex-husband, the "first female COO" in his company, has the same modus operandi, except he goes one step further, and pretends I do not exist.
Somatic therapy, Feldenkrais and Alexander work, psychoanalysis into the flaws of the male God schema, examination of childhood experiences of sexism and trauma, should be the first steps towards psychic/somatic wholeness/wellness when any individual goes for professional help with cross-sex ideation. It is not a stable diagnosis, there is no reliable measure to predict who will detransition and when.
Pride parades, for decades already, are over-focused on campy, overt sexuality, drag masquerades and the commodification of a lifestyle, a part of life that should be more private, more personal. See under: wildly successful, absolutely unrealistic, California-fied Grace and Frankie series, in which everyone moves on in a materialistic, silly and thoughtless consumerism when two men decide they love each other and leave their 30 years marriages. "Where's my beach house?" ask all the trans widows. "Where's the right to even tell my story?" we ask. I was assured recently that I'm right, only right wing media would interview me, and as well, Women's Declaration International. (Female Erasure by Ute Heggen--on YouTube)
As a step in the direction towards "first do no harm," I've posted somatic movement sets to heal from trauma, to reconnect mind/body, to feel your bones, your sinews, which are yours, which are sexed since birth, claim them for your best life.
We owe it to the next generation to regard every one of ourselves as potential influencers, as mentors, as examples. The pharma of "transition" is not wellness, at any age.
Ute Heggen, author, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow (iuniverse, 2022)
"Behind the rainbows and the sparkles, and the banners and the flags, there is a totalitarian mindset that demands compliance."
This. So much this. I'm bi and have NEVER felt like I would actually belong at ' Pride ' due to the leftist political mindset & sexual exhibitionism that currently gets presented as part of the package deal to be welcome & have fun. I understand why some may have issues with this piece but I'm glad you're on our side, Debbie.
It’s frustrating to see some of the bile in these comments, which appear to take no account of the author’s story. This style of gender critical discourse only energises the people it castigates.
This is SO well articulated—our societal moment in a nutshell:
"But those God-shaped holes are still there. We still have that innate need to be seen as good people, and that desire is unlikely to evolve out of our species any time soon. So, my former neighbor goes to Pride, because Pride checks the boxes. There is ritual, and there is tradition. Parades are public: simply being a good person is not enough, we need others to see we are good people. If that is insufficient, we post it on social media.
"The churches—sorry, organizations—that organize, perpetuate, and benefit from Pride have their creeds and their commandments: Transwomen are Women, and Thou shalt not misgender. They collect donations (tithes?) from individuals and organizations to proselytize their gospel of equality, diversity and inclusion. They ask allies to express guilt for their original sin—straight or “cis”-privilege.
"There is a special priestly class—the trans—that supposedly possesses some mysterious special knowledge about what it means to be human. With their claims of a special soul, or rather “gender identity,” they are revered and lauded. But only so long as they keep the faith."
I see the writer's point--but perhaps it's progress that Pride has become many things to many people. In my small New England town, Pride celebrations have been a wonderful celebration of diversity and individuality--when anyone can dress or look however they want. As a straight, cis man, I've always loved the celebratory nature of the event as well as its inclusivity. It's message of "you're welcome and worthwhile just as you are," seems hopeful regardless of your sexuality.
I suppose there's a need to not be integrated--to protest whatever the status quo is and to root out inequality, intolerance, and injustice. To put it in a more negative light: if you aren't identified as a victim, you need to look for more ways to say you are one. (This is especially true of teenagers and young adults!) But PRIDE seems more of an antidote to that impulse than an accelerator.
I am a heterosexual female who used to go to Pride because several of my dearest friends were gay and came out at a time when there was still a lot of stigma. I liked to go to pride with them to celebrate them. I liked the experience also of being removed from hetero society for the weekend of celebrations (as mainstream hetero society which was very male-ruled at the time often felt quite threatening to me as a young woman). But I definitely did notice over the years the random hetero people who weren’t content to just watch from the sidelines as I was but who wanted to feel like a deeper part of the community. It is one thing to be uncertain about your sexuality and trying to figure it out when you’re young; it is another to keep pushing and pushing to try and be a part of a community that really has no place for you because it isn’t about you… I know people like that, straight women who only date men but have fooled around with women so always claimed to be “queer.” They always attended pride wanting so badly for it to be all about them. Now that they can slap the non binary trans label on themselves to legitimize their queer obsession. An old friend of mine (not friends anymore) now calls herself queer and applies for special grants for queer artists etc because she decided to call herself non binary, even though she only dates men. She also dresses like a woman and likes to rant about how non binary people don’t “owe” anyone androgyny. She has always been someone who wants the spot light on herself and tries to make everything about her. It was when people like her started being more and more in the spotlight at pride that I stopped going. That and when BLM made demands from pride in our city that were totally bizarre and idiotic and did nothing to help relations between cops/the gay community whatsoever. Then it just became obvious that pride was not for gay people anymore; it was for trendy left wing political statements and for people who have a serious victim complex and just want attention for it. So I’ll leave them to that.
Why I Stopped Going To Pride
When less than one out of a million men tried to pass themselves off as "women," men like "Renee" Richards and "Jan" Morris, the "transsexual"/"transgender" scam posed no real threat to women, children, or the whole of society. But today, when tens of thousands of teenage daughters demand double mastectomies, when intact male sex offenders rape their female cell mates, when little boys and girls are brainwashed into believing they can change their sex, the "transgender movement" threatens everyone.
"Debbie" Hayton has a problem with the Pride Parade. Fine. But because Mr. Hayton wears womanface in public, calls himself "Debbie," and tries to pass himself off as some type of "woman," he is a major part of the "transgender" scam whether he acknowledges it or not. Like it or not, there is no such thing as "transgender." There is no such thing as "transsexual." We are the sex we were conceived as. That says it all.
Mr. Hayton is a man. Not just a biological man. But a man in every sense of the word. He is no more entitled to pass himself off as a woman, any type of woman, not even a "transsexual woman," than I can munch on a Milk-Bone biscuit, douse myself with Frontline," and register at the American Kennel Club.
If it's true, as some say below, that the author is a biological male and still a heterosexual, then this article is brilliant satire (though satire isn’t what I'm paying for here). And further, if the author is a heterosexual, biological male, and the piece isn't brilliant satire, then it's... what? Pathetic nonsense? It's kind of like Rachel Dolezal, apparently a caucasian, becoming a leader in the NAACP, only instead of being found out and pilloried, let's say instead she became disenchanted with the direction of the NAACP and pilloried them? Talk about the pot calling the kettle... wait, maybe the Wedgewood Porcelain calling the...? I give up. I identify as a chef with a headache whose tired of hearing the cupboard inhabitants holler at each other. Where is my parade?
Until Hayton detransitions and stops using the T word to describe himself, he has zero credibility. All he's doing is safeguarding the old definition against the new definition. There is no evidence foundation in his writing.
This is a great essay and very aligned with the thesis of one I wrote on Religion as a Psychology. The author and I pretty well align on that concept and it's true. Everyone is religious, we just have to realize what we are doing with ours!
https://polymathicbeing.substack.com/p/religion-as-a-psychology
grrrrrr gender critics need to stop giving Hayton the time of day.
This is a thoughtful essay about important issues. If we have a purity test to determine who is allowed to speak out on these issues, then we are no better than the Pride purveyors or the pronoun police, and we will never defeat them. The only thing accomplished by ad hominem attacks and vitriol will be the silencing of influential people who could have helped to make the case against gender mythology.
As the ex-wife of a man who identified publicly as female in his mid-thirties, and says he's the mother of our 2 sons, I have to comment on the God talk. I don't get it. I don't see the place for it.
It is notable that God is "he" in this essay, causing me to conclude traditional Christianity, regarding the 'sexed" existence of God, in the mind of the author. As a Jew, (converted with Masorti rabbis in 1987) I believe the writing regarding "God's wrath" in the Pentateuch, in context of its antiquity, is about humans not knowing geology, seeking to understand floods, droughts, earthquakes and other traumatizing phenomena; why so many innocent humans die in them?
Using God in discussions of transsexuality, cross-dressing, cross-sex ideation and the like, is not part of my spirituality--and I consider myself to be a woman of faith. The "sexed soul" mantra hides between the lines here, in my reading of this unusual essay. This brand of mysticism has long been cultivated by the "sexologist" diagnosticians. It is not a useful schema, in a discussion of how to stop the harms gender ideology brings to a new generation in crisis. I do not see God discussions as useful here.
My ex-husband's fluctuations were weekly, daily, hourly, before his PhD psychologist decided I, his wife, "caused" him to "decide to live full-time as female" (direct quotes from 1996 sworn affidavit submitted in custody case) as a result of my choice not to stay in the marriage. Based on his own narrative of when he felt "transsexual" (his word, back then) and when he didn't (because sometimes he didn't, he said), I do not regard the underpinnings of this identity to be stable.
The PhD "sexologist" became a female "God," who meted out punishment of me through alienation of affection and propagandistic claims regarding our children's predicted "non-reactions." No. Our then 9 year old son said he wanted to kill himself and named three ways. The "sexologist" was completely wrong in saying our children would not be affected emotionally, but no one in this field follows up the family, finds out how the trans widow manages or whether someone in that unit experiences trauma. The feelings of the transsexual always weigh more than the rest of us. I will leave it to readers here to spend their own time looking up this author and his wife's public statements regarding her experiences during her husband's "transition." My heart goes out to her every time I see her husband publishing another essay, the constant self-referential habit, the everlasting claim to be "one of the good ones." My ex-husband, the "first female COO" in his company, has the same modus operandi, except he goes one step further, and pretends I do not exist.
Somatic therapy, Feldenkrais and Alexander work, psychoanalysis into the flaws of the male God schema, examination of childhood experiences of sexism and trauma, should be the first steps towards psychic/somatic wholeness/wellness when any individual goes for professional help with cross-sex ideation. It is not a stable diagnosis, there is no reliable measure to predict who will detransition and when.
Pride parades, for decades already, are over-focused on campy, overt sexuality, drag masquerades and the commodification of a lifestyle, a part of life that should be more private, more personal. See under: wildly successful, absolutely unrealistic, California-fied Grace and Frankie series, in which everyone moves on in a materialistic, silly and thoughtless consumerism when two men decide they love each other and leave their 30 years marriages. "Where's my beach house?" ask all the trans widows. "Where's the right to even tell my story?" we ask. I was assured recently that I'm right, only right wing media would interview me, and as well, Women's Declaration International. (Female Erasure by Ute Heggen--on YouTube)
As a step in the direction towards "first do no harm," I've posted somatic movement sets to heal from trauma, to reconnect mind/body, to feel your bones, your sinews, which are yours, which are sexed since birth, claim them for your best life.
https://wordpress.com/post/uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com/4778
We owe it to the next generation to regard every one of ourselves as potential influencers, as mentors, as examples. The pharma of "transition" is not wellness, at any age.
Ute Heggen, author, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow (iuniverse, 2022)
"Behind the rainbows and the sparkles, and the banners and the flags, there is a totalitarian mindset that demands compliance."
This. So much this. I'm bi and have NEVER felt like I would actually belong at ' Pride ' due to the leftist political mindset & sexual exhibitionism that currently gets presented as part of the package deal to be welcome & have fun. I understand why some may have issues with this piece but I'm glad you're on our side, Debbie.
It’s frustrating to see some of the bile in these comments, which appear to take no account of the author’s story. This style of gender critical discourse only energises the people it castigates.
This is SO well articulated—our societal moment in a nutshell:
"But those God-shaped holes are still there. We still have that innate need to be seen as good people, and that desire is unlikely to evolve out of our species any time soon. So, my former neighbor goes to Pride, because Pride checks the boxes. There is ritual, and there is tradition. Parades are public: simply being a good person is not enough, we need others to see we are good people. If that is insufficient, we post it on social media.
"The churches—sorry, organizations—that organize, perpetuate, and benefit from Pride have their creeds and their commandments: Transwomen are Women, and Thou shalt not misgender. They collect donations (tithes?) from individuals and organizations to proselytize their gospel of equality, diversity and inclusion. They ask allies to express guilt for their original sin—straight or “cis”-privilege.
"There is a special priestly class—the trans—that supposedly possesses some mysterious special knowledge about what it means to be human. With their claims of a special soul, or rather “gender identity,” they are revered and lauded. But only so long as they keep the faith."
I see the writer's point--but perhaps it's progress that Pride has become many things to many people. In my small New England town, Pride celebrations have been a wonderful celebration of diversity and individuality--when anyone can dress or look however they want. As a straight, cis man, I've always loved the celebratory nature of the event as well as its inclusivity. It's message of "you're welcome and worthwhile just as you are," seems hopeful regardless of your sexuality.
I suppose there's a need to not be integrated--to protest whatever the status quo is and to root out inequality, intolerance, and injustice. To put it in a more negative light: if you aren't identified as a victim, you need to look for more ways to say you are one. (This is especially true of teenagers and young adults!) But PRIDE seems more of an antidote to that impulse than an accelerator.
I am a heterosexual female who used to go to Pride because several of my dearest friends were gay and came out at a time when there was still a lot of stigma. I liked to go to pride with them to celebrate them. I liked the experience also of being removed from hetero society for the weekend of celebrations (as mainstream hetero society which was very male-ruled at the time often felt quite threatening to me as a young woman). But I definitely did notice over the years the random hetero people who weren’t content to just watch from the sidelines as I was but who wanted to feel like a deeper part of the community. It is one thing to be uncertain about your sexuality and trying to figure it out when you’re young; it is another to keep pushing and pushing to try and be a part of a community that really has no place for you because it isn’t about you… I know people like that, straight women who only date men but have fooled around with women so always claimed to be “queer.” They always attended pride wanting so badly for it to be all about them. Now that they can slap the non binary trans label on themselves to legitimize their queer obsession. An old friend of mine (not friends anymore) now calls herself queer and applies for special grants for queer artists etc because she decided to call herself non binary, even though she only dates men. She also dresses like a woman and likes to rant about how non binary people don’t “owe” anyone androgyny. She has always been someone who wants the spot light on herself and tries to make everything about her. It was when people like her started being more and more in the spotlight at pride that I stopped going. That and when BLM made demands from pride in our city that were totally bizarre and idiotic and did nothing to help relations between cops/the gay community whatsoever. Then it just became obvious that pride was not for gay people anymore; it was for trendy left wing political statements and for people who have a serious victim complex and just want attention for it. So I’ll leave them to that.